不知道為什麼,人在外地的時候都很容易被騙,很多東西是你在家鄉無論如何都不會上當的,但到了外地就會莫名其妙受騙。我前幾天就這很怪的做了一件鳥事,雖然稱不上是受騙,但也實在很好笑。
我 早上在上班的路上偶爾會遇到一位「出家人」,想也知道就是為了要是「化緣」,但是我們這種從小就深知「小心匪諜就在你身邊」道理的人當然會認為這是匪諜化 裝成的出家人,而在這個充滿騙子的國家,很明顯他就是化裝成出家人的匪諜,同時想騙錢賺一點外快!這種小伎倆對我根本是不管用的!
前天上班又碰到了這位出家人在路邊「發送」護身符,我當然按照慣例快步飄走,但沒想到這位方丈(我懷疑他的法號搞不好是夢遺)飄的更快,而且抓住我的手不放。這時我心頭一驚,馬上想到的一件事.....
我想愛聽相聲的人應該都知道有名的段子「八扇屏」裡面有說到宋太祖趙匡胤發跡之前,遇到灑金橋旁擺攤算卦的苗廣義,苗先生一看到趙匡胤大吃一驚,知道是未來的皇帝來了,於是急忙站起,口稱「萬歲,草民接駕來遲,望乞主公恕罪!」這樣一個故事。
當夢遺方丈抓住我的手的時候,我的心裡只有一個想法:「我等了一輩子,這一天終於來了,你這個草民竟然讓我等了三十幾年,朕一定要大大的處罰你。」,但就在我停下腳步以後,草民夢遺只說了一句:「這不要錢的」,硬把一個護身符塞給我。
挖 咧,我的萬歲呢?雖然你接駕已經遲了三十幾年,但我答應恕你的罪,你喊聲萬歲先吧。草民夢遺沒有瞭解我的意思,還是很堅持的又說了一次:「這不要錢的」。 喵的這位方丈很奇怪耶,我當了皇帝還怕沒錢嗎?重點先說好不好?來,跟我念一次:「萬歲,草民接駕來遲,望乞主公恕罪!」接下來你要說:「看我主雙眉帶 煞,暗藏日月;二目有神,两耳垂肩;左肩頭有一朱砂红痣,日後必為九五之尊」.....
「真的,這不用錢的」......煾,看來這位夢 遺方丈並不是具有看透天命的能力的,算了,拿著不用錢的護身符我就走了吧。沒想到方丈還是抓著我的手不放,拿出一本本子來,我想說挖咧還要簽收喔?簽收本 上面有兩行一看就知道是同一個人寫的假名字,這兩個假人各捐贈了兩百元。靠,這時換我心中一驚,我上當了,嗚嗚嗚,我被相聲誤導了。當有路人抓著你的手的 時候,大部分的情況是他們要跟你要錢,而不是要跟你說你以後會當皇帝。
雖然我可以把護身符還他閃人,但是獅子座愛面子的個性很難真的這樣做,所以我勉強的掏了十五元人民幣給他,在「我是蠢豬簽到簿」的本子上寫下了我的名字與十五元的金額後就去上班了。以下就是我用台幣七十五元「請」到的護身符(畢竟還是神佛之物,總不能說是被騙或是用買的)
還不錯,富有精美紅塑膠套一枚
照沒拍好,但是其實做的還真的挺好的,是一塊硬的金牌,上面有很好看的觀音像
這個護身符我現在就放包包理,一方面覺得他做的不錯,一方面是我在簽「蠢豬簽到簿」時,夢遺方丈有很認真的為我的家人的平安健康祈福,其實不管是不是騙錢,我覺得感覺也還不錯啦。
2009/02/27
我知道這不用錢,我真的知道!
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34 Comments:
在上海
應該說在中國無奇不有
我先是在深圳住了一年,上海住了兩年
現在北京快住了三年
每個城市都會有奇聞妙事發生
就抱著新鮮感
但是置身於事外的感覺去觀察
要是不小心掉入"局裡"
我會假裝華僑
假裝聽不懂中文
幾裡瓜啦說一串英文
通常會奏效
然後找機會離開現場....
我的經驗參考一下
祝你好運
我懷念的城市還是上海
畢竟他比較方便
我又能掌握上海人的個性....
真開心你的blog復活了,
完美的填補了我麻將多一咖、被換下場的空檔,哈~~
開玩笑的啦~~我是要說你的blog真的很有娛樂效果,請繼續努力!!
我的blog有娛樂效果??
我的blog是空的啊
呵呵
卡爾總是把整個情境表達得很生動啊!
夢遺法師 ㄎㄎ...
ps.我早換部落格了啦!
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